But /etc/fstab has the same UUID for every drive, I have no idea what to do with it.
That would be because every entry (except /boot and /tmp) is a subvolume of the same btrfs volume. Your other drives just aren’t in there.
You might want to read man fstab and maybe the Arch wiki pages for fstab and NTFS. It’s not that difficult as long as you make sure to not reboot with a broken fstab (using nofail is also a good idea). And yes you can just mount them to /media if you want, as long as the mount point is an empty directory.
Ubuntu Studio might have achieved this in a different way but since you’re in Arch land now it’s probably better to do what the Arch documentation recommends.


While you’re still in reinstalling mood, you could try out something with KDE, Xfce and Cinnamon desktops to see if you like those better than GNOME (you wouldn’t be alone if you do). However this part in particular:
Sounds a lot like you actually just want GNOME. While we have a lot of choice for Windows clones, there’s nothing that does the Super workflow quite like GNOME does.
You can also try the PopOS Shell or PaperWM extensions to try out some tiling functionality. You’ll have to spend a few minutes fixing up some key bindings, but you’ll still be running GNOME and won’t have to worry about desktop portals or authentication agents or notification daemons. You also won’t have to reinstall if you end up not liking it, you can just remove the extension, reset the key bindings and you’re back to the default experience.
Unfortunately it’s not that easy to stay on just one package manager unless your expectations for available software are very low (or you are willing to jump into NixOS, which I would not recommend). Even on Arch you end up with two because pacman does not pull from the AUR. You might get away with running a Fedora Atomic Desktop (or a derivative like Bazzite) and just pretending that Flatpak is the only thing that exists though.
I would tentatively suggest Fedora Silverblue actually, because while it isn’t without issues (missing codecs, Fedora Flatpak vs. Flathub, etc.) it is designed with the non-technical user in mind (which, with no offense intended, you are). That’s not true of Arch or any of its derivatives. Debian and Mint are also good options. That being said… there’s not really anything wrong with Ubuntu either. It’s not “cool” and of course Lemmings (like Redditors) will always recommend their own favorite distribution you’ve never head of, but if Ubuntu works for you, you can just keep using it.
NB: If you do end up trying GNOME on a non-Ubuntu distribution, you will want the AppIndicator extension. Ubuntu installs this by default, but Fedora doesn’t. Without it you won’t have Steam or Discord in your panel.